Bittersweet
by Frantic Emotions
Summary: ONESHOT. A bitter beginning with a sweet ending. To sum it all up, it was bittersweet. "I love you, Mikan. I never stopped." Natsume-centric


**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice**

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**Summary: A bitter beginning with a sweet ending. To sum it all up, it was bittersweet.**

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**Bittersweet**

_"I love you. I never stopped."  
_- Natsume

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"Hey. Cheer up, please? I'll come back." she whispered and I felt her leaning down on my shoulder. I didn't want to look at her, 'cause looking at her will cause me pain. So much pain. I wanted to cheer up for her but the situation we were in just won't let me. How can I cheer up when I can't stop thinking about...I shrugged the thought off and I let out an exhausted sigh. The thought of her leaving hurts me deep down to the core. What if she doesn't come back? What if she met another guy? And what if...I don't think I'll be able to cope up if ever that happens. I closed my eyes tightly and tried to hold back the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes, which I successfully did. I looked down and stared at our entwined hands. I smiled, bitterly. Just the sight of our entwined hands makes me feel content. And it's funny how her small, soft and dainty hands fit perfectly with my big and calloused ones. I took in a deep breath as I brought her hand to my lips, kissing it gently.

"I promise." are the next words that escaped from her soft lips. Two words. Just two words. Words which means a lot to me. Words in which I'd always remember and hold on to. Most often than not, promises are meant to be broken. But, I trust her. I know that she loves me too much and she can never hurt me. And she will keep her promise. She'll keep it. She will. She will...

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It has been already been a year ever since she went abroad. There had never been a single day when we won't get to talk with each other. No matter how busy we were, we'd always find time to communicate. Though there were times when we had misunderstandings which often leads us to fight, we'd eventually make up and reconcile afterwards. Even if she's at fault, I'll let her win the argument instead because losing an argument is easier than losing her. That's just how much I love her. I'm willing to do anything for her, even if it's against my will. I may be a fool for loving her, but what else can I do? I can't afford to lose her.

I was currently sitting on my bed, browsing pictures of her on my MacBook when I heard a knock on the door. I knew instantly that it was my mom. But I'm too lazy to stand up and open the door, not until I heard her say: "Natsume, Mikan's on the line." I was caught off guard and that alone was enough to make me stop what I'm doing. Mikan? On the line? How...strange. She's not the type who calls a person first, which includes me. And we'd usually talk on skype, not through phone calls. I hurriedly hop out of my bed and literally run for the door. When I opened the door, I saw my mom holding the wireless telephone.

"She's looking for you." my mom said sadly. I didn't like the tone of her voice, even the look on her face bothered me. She walked away but before she did, she smiled at me which didn't reach her eyes. I wonder what happened. I closed my door, trying to put aside what caused my mom to act that way.

"Hello? Natsume?" I heard Mikan said on the line, she sounded...weak.

"Hm." I grunted and I heard her heaved a sigh of relief. "What is it polka?"

"I...I just wanted to hear your voice."

"You missed me that much, huh? It was only yesterday when we last talked."

"Hm. I missed you. Don't you feel the same?" she asked. I could instantly imagine her cute, pouting face whenever I'd say in a joking manner that I didn't miss her.

"No." I lied, when in fact, I miss her to death.

"Mou. You never change. Try to be honest, Natsume. Even just for today?" she blabbered.

"Hm. I...I miss you." I told her honestly. Silence engulfed when I heard her heaved a sigh again, and this time, it sounded like she was having hard time breathing.

"Natsume...I...I'm sorry." Sorry? What was she sorry for? Why was she apologizing? Weird thoughts quickly entered my mind. Was it because she doesn't love me anymore? Was it because she found someone else? Or was it because...I suddenly had hard time breathing and felt like my chest was being clenched by a big hand and it hurts. No, that couldn't be the reason. It couldn't be...I tried to calm myself and pushed those silly thoughts away. A Hyuuga does not panic.

"Sorry? What for? Polka? Is there something bothering you?" I told her but she didn't answer.

"Hey. Mikan?" again, she didn't respond. Instead, I heard soft sobs.

"I-I...I love you, Natsume." she cried.

"I...I love you, too polka." I whispered and little while later, she hung up.

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_8 years later (Third person's POV)_

"Daddy!" a 5 year-old girl squealed as she ran into the arms of her father. The man, who had heard his little girl, instantly brought her into his arms and carried her next.

"Hey honey." the man greeted as he kissed his daughter's cheek lovingly. "How was school?" he added. The little girl pouted at the question.

"I don't want to go to school tomorrow!" she complained.

"Hey hey hey. Why the sad face? You know your mommy wouldn't like that."

"But still, I don't want to! Kyouya-kun was being so mean to me! He took my cookies! And it was favorite!" she 'hmph'-ed and crossed her arms childishly. He smiled inwardly. His daughter can be a real brat sometimes.

"Alright, I'll buy you lots of your favorite cookies later." he suggested and he saw how his kid's eyes sparkled from the thought.

"Really Daddy? You will?" she said, her frown was gone in an instant.

"Yes, and you can keep it from that boy named Kyouya. Now, will you go to school tomorrow?"

"Yes yes! I will! I love you Daddy!" she grinned and hugged her father.

"I love you too, sweetheart." he whispered, as a tear successfully escaped from his eyes.

"Daddy?" the girl said softly, so soft that it seemed like she will cry any minute. He was alarmed. He knew that when his little girl acted like this, there's something which bothers her and she will cry about it later on.

"Yes, Mayu?" he asked calmly.

"I want to see mommy." she said sadly, still hugging her father. He smiled, so that's what's bothering her.

"Okay, but first, you need to stop hugging daddy and get down so we can get going." he told her and she did what she was told. He brought her down safely and took her little hand in his.

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"Mayu, do you think she will like this?" I asked my daughter, trying to sound cheerful for her sake at least. I showed her the bouquet of roses I was holding, knowing too well that she doesn't know anything about flowers. Mayu smiled happily and told me that her mother will like whatever it is that I'll give her. I smiled back, trying to prevent myself from crying. I almost lost my cool a while ago, but it was a good thing Mayu was hugging me when that happened.

"We'll take this." I told the florist who was in the cashier.

"That'll be 2,500 yen, sir." she said politely and I handed her the bill. I took my daughter's left hand and we went out of the shop.

"Daddy?" she called, looking up to me with those hazel rounded eyes which she got from her mom.

"Yes, baby? Is there somewhere else you'd want to go to before visiting your mom?" I asked her and she shooked her head.

"No. I just want to ask Daddy a question."

"Hm. And what is it?"

"I heard from Kyouya-kun that when a boy likes a girl..." she trailed off. That Kyouya boy again, huh? I wonder why Mayu would always tell me about this particular boy. Doesn't she have other friends who are girls?

"Daddy?" she shook my hand, trying to catch my attention.

"Hm?"

"You weren't listening to me." she pouted and crossed her arms. There she goes again. She never fails to amaze me, just like how her mom did.

"I'm sorry, sweety. I didn't catch what you said. Repeat it for me please?"

"I said, Kyouya-kun told me that when a boy likes a girl, he should give her red roses because red stands for love. But why did you buy blue and white roses instead?" she inquired. True, every time I'd buy roses for _her_, it would always be blue and white.

"That's because your mom loves the color blue and white." I answered, hoping that she would stop from asking questions again.

"But...blue doesn't stand for love and the white too. I've heard that blue roses means that you've...a-a...attain? Yes, attained the impossible. And the white means...I think it's pure?" I was rendered speechless. Well, what can I say? My daughter's pretty smart and whenever she's curious about a certain thing, she wouldn't stop until she gets an answer and until she's satisfied.

"Who gave you that idea?" I asked her. I thought that she didn't know anything about flowers, but now? She's too young to know these sorts of things!

"Kyouya-kun." That boy? Not again? What kind of nonsense things has he been telling my daughter?

"Mayu, I want you to stop talking to that boy." I told her sternly. Whatever that boy is teaching my daughter, it has to be stopped. I saw how my daughter's brows furrowed and her eyes were again, full of questions.

"But why?" I sighed inwardly and shook my head. I should've seen this one coming.

"Just because. Now, let's get going shall we? Your mother is waiting for us."

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"Mommy!" I saw how Mayu ran to her and sat on grassy floor. She was giggling and telling her random stories about school and such animatedly. This should have been a wonderful sight, it should have been...

"Daddy! Come here!" Mayu called out and I sat down beside her.

"You know what Mommy? I told Daddy that I didn't want to go to school tomorrow because of Kyouya. He took my cookies and ate it right away. But Daddy said that he'll buy me lots of them and he also said that you wouldn't want it if I didn't go to school..." I was listening to her story-telling when all of a sudden, she kept quiet.

"Daddy and I miss you so much." Mayu told her softly, misty-eyed. "I wish you were still here with us. Daddy is always crying every night, Mommy." she cried.

I brought Mayu to my arms and hugged her tight. It hurts every time I'd see my daughter in this state whenever we visit her. She's too young to even experience this.

"Hush now. Mommy doesn't want to see you cry." I told her, but to be honest, it was I who doesn't want to see her cry and get hurt.

"Daddy, you should give Mommy the roses you bought." Mayu whispered to me. I nodded at her as I placed the bouquet beside the tombstone.

Mikan was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and that's the reason why she went abroad. I was really against the idea of her leaving, but I know that she has a high chance of getting better if she left, and she did. She came back after two years and we got married. A year later, Mayu came to our lives. I was so happy back then, thinking that we'd always be together forever. But that happiness was taken away from me. She started forgetting things and her condition became severe as days dragged on. I felt pathetic seeing her helpless. I wanted to stop that fucking disease from eating up her memories but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything until that whatever almighty which everyone referred to as 'Kami' took her away from us, from me. I blamed Him for everything, for taking Mikan, and for making me feel miserable. They said that God has reasons for everything but I just couldn't understand why. Why did He choose Mikan? Why didn't He choose me instead? I tried hard to understand things until that one fateful day when Mayu was a year old. She was crying and in her hands was beaded rosary. It was then that I realized how much she needed me because she had no else but me. I learned from that day onwards that Mayu being here was His reason.

"Mommy, Daddy bought you blue and white flowers. I still don't get why he didn't buy you red roses instead." she said, staring at the tombstone.

"I already told you why, Mayu. Mommy loves blue and white. And just because I didn't buy red roses doesn't mean that I don't love her. Remember that colors don't matter, alright?" I explained to her and my eyes landed on the roses. Blue and White. Sky and Clouds. Then I remembered the color of the beaded rosary. It was blue and white as well. Why didn't I recognize that before?

"Hm, okay Daddy. At least you made Mommy happy." she grinned. Yes, she's happy. Not because of the flowers, but because she's in Heaven. And I know that God would take care of her, just as much as I would take care of Mayu.

"Daddy, let's go home. I told Mommy that I will go to school tomorrow and I still have to do my homework." she stood up, dusted her skirt and took her backpack.

"Bye Mommy. We'll visit you again. I love you." she smiled happily. I took one last glance at the tombstone and traced her name by my index finger.

"You don't know how much I miss you, polka. And I'll always miss you." I thought to myself. I know she can hear me and that she's here beside me.

"I love you. I never stopped." I said and felt that familiar cold wind blew against us. I stood up, took off my jacket and let my daughter wear it instead.

"Let's go Mayu." I took her hand again with me as we made our way out of the cemetery.

_Here lies Mikan Sakura Hyuuga_  
_May 5, 1980 - October 16, 2011_  
_A loving daughter, friend, wife, and mother_  
_"Your memory still lives on."_

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**end**

**24-July-2012**

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**A/N: Hello readers and reviewers. I have made another story yet again. Ha-Ha-Ha. I know, I know. I haven't updated my other stories. Gomen. This story was originally published two days ago in Wattpad [www. wattpad user/ thenerdybrat] and I suggest you read it there. If you want to read some of my stories which aren't fanfic-related, copy and paste that link and remove the spaces. I wasn't really planning to post this story here because as you can see, Natsume was a little OOC. His character is really different ****from Evan(my OC)****, thus, the reason why there were a little changes if you'd compare Bittersweet here in FFN and from that in Wattpad but the plot is still the same. But I believe Natsume and Evan have one thing in common. They're both a loving father to their daughter, don't you think so, too? Anyway, the real reason why I posted it here as well is because...uhm, can you guys vote for this story [in Wattpad again]? I decided to join the Watty Awards 2012 and submitted 'Bittersweet' as my entry. Pretty please? It's actually my first time joining a contest and...yeah. Ha-Ha. I'll appreciate your votes. Thank you minna. :D**


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